Friday, September 9, 2011

5 Moms I Secretly Hate

Moms I Secretly Hate (And Why)
So, I am easy to get along with usually. But I have decided that there a few kinds of moms I really secretly hate.
1. The Crafty playful mom: Now I love to be crafty and I love to play with the kids. BUT....Doing crafts WITH the kids is almost as bad as going to the dentist. The mess, the crying, the screaming (me and them) it always ends up bad. OCD doesn't allow me to let my kids "glue" things or "cut" things themselves. And glitter and that kind of thing just makes my stomach a little sick to think about. (All over the the the eyes....UGH it gets dangerous) And playing house or dinosaurs is just too much for me. I mean this is me.....(Dinosaur in hand) with Brother Baer (Dinosaur in hand) RRRROOOOAARRRR I'm going to eat you. Brother Baer says....Your dinosaur eats plants mom. Oh I say. Well then here let me eat this piece of grass. *sigh* I secretly hate the moms that can spend hours doing that stuff.
2. Moms who are "put together": I don't know how they can be a mom and have the time to get their hair done, makeup done, nails and toe nails done, clothes all matching and stylish...AND shave their legs and stuff? Where do they find this time? Do they not sleep? I can barely get the 3 little baers dressed and fed without losing my mind. I get a babysitter to go out and usually they are babysitting while I'm getting ready while Papa Baer is waiting in the car (He's inpatient) while I slap some makeup on and throw on my flip flops and sunglasses.
3. Moms who do things with adults: Seriously....Again where do they find the time? Movies and luncheons and coffee. Dinners and Dancing and fun? Really? Where do they find the time and energy. By the time it's dinner time here. I'm ready to go to bed. Getting all dressed up (see #2 mom) and all ready and then going out. *phew* I dunno. Sounds like work to me.
4. Moms who's kids behave: I love seeing a mom struggle with kids. Seriously, I'm at Walmart and their kids are throwing a tantrum. I'm the sick person who smiles and feels good inside. At least they make me feel normal. What do these moms do with their kids that are behaving? sitting quietly at the Dr office? Grocery shopping with mom without screaming and running around? Sitting in a restaurant without throwing things or puking on the floor....Seriously what are they doing? Are they drugging their devils prior to going out?
5. Moms who's houses are clean: Ok, so I think this is a myth. It MUST be. There is just no way to have a house full of children and not have a mess. I'm pretty sure. BUT, just in case my theory is wrong and it's not a myth and there are moms who can keep their house clean with children. I hate them too.


  1. I think you and I hate the same women. I love crafts, but the best I do with my kids is break-n-bake cookies. I will let me 4 year old crack eggs if I'm feeling generous.
    And the put-together mom? Ugh! I know a mom with two little boys, she's PG with another and she's always perfect. Always. Even at McDonald's where I'm happy if I've combed my hair that day.
    I do, however, get out. A lot. Thank God for my hubby who allows me to run away whenever I want.

    I followed a link from someone else to your blog... Not sure where you are located, but you're welcome to join us for the "No kids allowed mom's club!"

  2. LOL Andrea you crack me up! And I completely agree! Especially #4. Just last night we were eating out (with two kids yelling and a two-year-old pouring pink lemonade all over himself)when a mom with two-year-old twin boys came in and they walked in quietly behind here and didn't wander an inch. "There is no way that is possible" is what I was thinking.