Wednesday, January 11, 2012
It's been 6 years and 10 months since brother Baer was born and I knew there was something wrong. It's been 4 years and 8 months since we received a "diagnosis" and Finally Finally Finally! Today....I had someone really listen. Really diagnosis and Really give me answers.
Autism. I already knew that of course. And probably most of you do to since I say he has it. But to hear a Dr say it. To hear the professionals say it "without a doubt" not a rule out diagnosis. Not a secondary diagnosis. But that IS the issue. It felt great to hear. Great only because I already KNEW that was the issue. The school knew that was the issue. The TSS's and BSC's we have worked with told us that too. So did Family Based Services. But I had yet get a Dr to listen. Really listen and take note. To watch him and really learn about him.
Funny thing is I used to think the diagnosis meant nothing. I will tell you now my dear friends. I DOES matter. The kind of services and the kind of treatments and supports are depending on a proper diagnosis. And for years now we have had the wrong one. So therefore I fought and struggled for the right services. I have read enough and researched enough to know that Brother Baer did not have a mood disorder. He was not Oppositional Defiant. He did not have ADHD or Expressive Language Disorder. They were diagnosing symptoms of the Autism. Not the actual Autism. I struggled and fought for this to give him the RIGHT services because as a niave momma almost 5 years ago I said I didn't care what they called it just help me. Well....It matters. It really matters. So take that from my experience. Trust in what you know and what you believe and make someone listen to you. I did have a Dr "give me" a PDD-NOS diagnosis about a year ago to appease me. And really, he said that at the time. I wanted to send William to a summer program for Autism, they said it had to be a diagnosis. So....The Dr granted that to me. To appease me.
Oh and another thing.....Bad Parenting. HA! What a joke. After being told by countless Dr's that I needed to adjust my parenting style....
I was told today that the only thing "bad" about my parenting style was that I had "trained" Brother Baer so well the past 5 years on "how to act" and "how to interact" that he was programmed correctly for social interaction. Programmed responses from years of his momma Baer teaching him what to say and when to say it. Years of telling him to "look at me" and years of telling him how to make a friend or how to be a friend. And now....Unless you care to know or care to watch and listen you will see a well adjusted child who can make eye contact and speak to you in context. So then your only thought is....he is "bad" and since the Dr's only see him for 10 minutes at a time brother Baer can behave properly for those 10 minutes. So they say he needs a tougher mom. He needs more rules. He is "bad"
Well He's not bad, he has Autism.